


I'm Here

by ASkeletonofSkelepuns



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Just sibling fluff, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attack, Self Harm, Self interpretation of AUs, dunno what else to put, fellswap, not fontcest, not good with tags lmao, pls help, trigger warning, undertale - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 10:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14103438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASkeletonofSkelepuns/pseuds/ASkeletonofSkelepuns
Summary: Cherry was always prone to panic attacks. He'd been that way Rus's whole life, due to an incident that happened before Rus even came around. Since the barrier was broken, and they'd moved to the surface, the triggers were easier to look out for, or even prevent. But nothing is ever perfect...





	I'm Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm brand new to Ao3, but I'm not new to the fandom. This is my first published work here, and I'm super excited! Please be gentle on me if the formatting comes out wonky- I'm not being terrible on purpose, I swear.
> 
> Interpretations of Fellswap AU are my own and probably not canon to the AU itself (I got it mixed up with Swapfell and it's too late to change it now, I'm in it for the long run). However, I do not in any way shape or form OWN the Fellswap (or Swapfell) AU. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

**Trigger warning! Self harm and a panic attack.**  
_This is written in the perspective of Rus._

 

Saying that Rus had developed a radar for detecting his brother’s panic attacks wouldn’t have been too far from the truth. He has been dealing with then since they were babybones, despite the fact that Rus was the younger sibling.

Razzberry was unbelievably timid, but Rus didn’t know why. He had taken to calling it “The Incident,” as he wasn’t around at the time, and asking about it triggered one of Razzberry’s attacks.

At one point, it was Razzberry’s dream to be a part of the Royal Guard, but- according to Alphys, the (now former) captain- he just shunned everything to do with her, going so far as to start avoiding Undyne as well to escape any possibility of running into his former mentor.

The triggers were easy to detect: loud noises, being left alone for extensive periods of time, mention of whatever had caused the abrupt breakdown of Razzberry’s nerves, and so on. Since coming to the surface with Chara, some of the trigger sources had diminished.

Others, however, increased greatly.

Now it was storming, wind howling through the trees and threatening to rip everything up and blow it all away. The rain was like fingernails, drumming against the house in an impatient rhythm, waiting for something it would never receive. But what worried Rus wasn’t the rain or the wind, or even the lightning that knocked out the power. What worried Rus was the thunder. Loud, aggressive claps that started out as a growl and rolled into a bone-shaking roar as it traveled across the sky.

He searched the whole house for his brother, first checking the go-tos and then the rest of the house from top to bottom. His own nerves were shot with worry as the minutes passed and he still had no luck in finding his brother. Damn, he needed a smoke.

Rus was starting to lose his grip on his own fear as he reached the kitchen, the only room in the house he had yet to search. His HOPE, which had been waning rapidly, started to rise once more when he saw the shattered plate and the food spilled across the kitchen floor. Then his anxiety skyrocketed. He had an idea as to where to find his brother, but now he had no idea what state Razzberry would be in. He didn’t usually hide under the kitchen sink, even in the blind hysteria of a major attack.

Navigating the darkness in the hall that led from the main space beneath the sink should have been easy, but being blind in one eye made Rus have to place a hand on the rough grained wood on either side of him to avoid getting turned around and ending up back in the kitchen. Time was of the essence. There was no better waypoint, however, than the SOUL-rending sobbing of his brother, muffled by the closeness of the walls.

Rus couldn’t walk fast enough, jogging through the dark before he knew it, Razzberry’s terrified gasps getting louder with each step. Was this passage always so long?

The choked crying crescendoed until Rus thought he would go deaf, and finally he broke the uniform inkinesss of the shadows, stumbling into a well lit room (despite its lack of light sources) and being momentarily blinded as his good eye dilated violently at the abrupt change. When he opened his eyes, his gaze locked onto Razzberry where the shorter skeleton was huddled on the floor in the center of the room. Rus felt his SOUL seize up in his chest.

Razzberry was a mess. He was curled into a trembling ball, streaks of vibrant red magic pouring down his face as he choked on the air he couldn’t quite manage to get into his lungs. He was hugging himself, his clawed phalanges digging into the bones of his arms over and over, like if he could just cause enough pain he would be able to make everything else go away. Marrow of a pastel red shade dripped from the wounds, down Razzberry’s hands and arms and staining his shirt, forming thick splotches on the floor. Rus was horrified at the sight before him.

How long had Razzberry been like this, alone?

Another boom shuddered through the walls, and Razzberry let out a shattered whimper, snapping Rus out of his pained reverie.

Moving forward, Rus dropped to his knees beside Razzberry. He wanted to grab his brother and make him stop clawing at his arms, but he couldn’t just snatch at Razzberry’s wrists. It would only make the panicking worse.

Slowly, like he was comforting a wounded animal, Rus placed a hand on Razzberry’s shoulder, his touch soft. He felt his brother flinch at the contact, and he carefully tightened his grip to keep Razz from shrinking away from him. At the gentle resistance, the distressed skeleton cracked open tearful eyesockets to peer up at Rus with dim, flickering eyelights.

“B-BRO-THER? PA-PY-RU-SS-SS?” Razzberry wheezed, his voice cracking and raw from crying, escaping from the trembling skeleton in a croak like a squashed toad. It hurt Rus to hear his brother so frayed. Having made initial contact, Rus slid his hands down Razzberry’s arms to his wrists, gently pulling his arms open to stop him from continuing the consistent self mutilation. Razz seemed relieved, as if he hadn’t been aware of the source of the pain and Rus had finally gotten rid of it for him.

‘that’s right, bro. ‘s me, ‘m here now,’ Rus rasped, blaming the roughness of his voice on his smoking habit and not the pain constricting his SOUL. He hated seeing Razzberry falling apart like this and not being able to help. He was powerless to take this away from him. All he could do was give Razzberry something to cling to as it passed.

Keeping his slow, steady pace, Rus pulled Razzberry into his arms, cradling his brother against his ribcage. Another dissatisfied growl crawled through the air as the storm outside raged, and Razz buried his skull into his brother’s sternum, whimpering. Rus wrapped him into his oversized jacket in an attempt to muffle the sound of the thunder, scooting to settle back against the wall. He knew from experience, though, that they would have to wait out the storm before Razz would start to calm down.

Rus couldn’t help but think of what could have happened if he had found his brother any later. At the rate Razz was tearing at his ulna and humerus, he would have shredded his HP away in no time. Rus couldn’t shake the image of discovering a pile of dust surrounded by pale red marrow. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Rus tightened his grip fractionally as he squeezed his eyes shut, pushing away his own fears as he rested his zygomatic bone against the crown of Razzberry’s skull. Taking a deep breath, he focused on bringing Razz back from the brink of hysteria.

‘s’okay now, bro. ’m here. ‘m here…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, there's plenty more where that came from! Follow my blog on Tumblr: tumblr.com/sexy-sans-the-ass.  
> I'm an ask blog, so feel free to send something in! I'm a little slow (okay, a lot slow), but I always answer my asks, even if it's to say that I can't answer.


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